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Friday, December 14, 2018

Gratitude at all costs? NO. Thank you. 

“Be grateful.” "I'm trying to be grateful." "I guess I should be grateful..."

If I had a nickel for every time I hear or say those words, specially this time of year. Well, I'd have a lot of nickels. 
Most of us, somewhere along the way, have been told that we are supposed to be happy and grateful for what we have: grateful for all the opportunities that life has presented us, grateful for our health, grateful for...everything.
And I am not here to tell you that there aren't massive health benefits to recognizing our blessings and expressing gratitude for the same. You can read more about that here. But here's the rub. Many of us, in the quest to be grateful feel told to shy away from expressing our true emotions. It goes something like this:
I feel sad.
I’m not supposed to feel sad.
There’s no reason to be sad.
I’m not that kind of person.
My life is great, I should be grateful.
We judge, reason, analyze, and rationalize our feelings in an attempt to feel in control, yet we often forget that our feelings are there for a very good reason. When we allow ourselves to naturally express how we’re really feeling, a shift occurs and new feelings tend to show up.
Eugene Gendlin, a former professor at the University of Chicago phrased this idea so eloquently in saying the following:
“When a feeling is felt, it changes. Most people don’t know this. They think that by not permitting the feeling of their negative ways they make themselves good. On the contrary, that keeps these negative static, the same from year to year. A few moments of feeling it in your body allows it to change. If there is in you something bad or sick or unsound, let it inwardly be, and breathe. That’s the only way it can evolve and change into the form it needs.”

A few moments of feeling anything but grateful in your body allows it to change. Imagine giving yourself time to feel whatever you’re really feeling. Imagine shelving the judgment, analysis, and rationalization for just a few moments.
Here are a few techniques to help you release any sort of false gratitude and get closer to your true feelings:

1. Make a safe space. Most of us don’t express ourselves fully because we don’t feel safe doing so. Find a space in your life where you can fully express, whether it's in your car (one of my favorites) or at a close friend's place. Go somewhere where you feel totally comfortable being totally honest with yourself.

2. Find your crew. Think about someone in your life who you can always depend on to be your friend, even through difficult times. Ask this person if they would be willing to be with you as you express how you’re actually feeling. Once you get the yes, try out a simple sharing exercise. Set a timer for three minutes and say aloud, "I feel ________.” Don’t stop until the timer goes off, and let yourself share without a filter, even if the words don't make sense right away.

3. Talk to yourself.  Not in a 'people will wonder about you' way, but in a 'so you can know the answers' way. Try it on for size. Ask yourself what feelings are waiting to be expressed, and, without judgment (or with a little less judgment than usual), let yourself answer honestly. You might find yourself laughing, screaming, crying, yelling, grunting, or just staying silent. Embrace whatever comes.

Practicing sitting with all the emotions we are capable of, not just the one that seems to get all the attention during the holiday season, is one of the best ways I know to survive and even thrive through all the seasons of our lives. Looking for more on how to have a healthy holiday season? Check out my favorite 4 Real-Life Ways to Have a Happy Healthy Holiday. And if you are looking for that ally, please don't hesitate to let me know. That is what i am here for!

Gratefully, (most of the time) yours,
Erika


Sunday, September 2, 2018

Fuel better, Feel Better. For REAL!

After nearly a full year of vetting, learning, doubting, experimenting, sharing with some of my most trusting clients - feeling the results in my own body and seeing my family’s health blossom; I am so proud to announce my partnership with one of the fastest-growing nutrition companies i bet you’ve never heard of. 

But that’s going to change!

My new team is full of nutritionists, athletes, trainers, health coaches, and doctors. I’m learning so much!!! Totally comprehensive line of products: kid’s stuff, athletes performance, support for healthy aging, weight loss...means I can support all of my clients, rock my own health and make sure my entire family gets the nutrients they need. 

I know! 

I’ve always said we can “just do it with grocery store food.” And maybe some of you can. But I wasn’t. Just days after starting to eat these live, raw and dehydrated superfoods, I could feel the difference. And my family... My WHOLE family!!! 😍 

I mean look at us, we’ve got places to go and we need the fuel to get there! 




So what’s changing?
I can now offer 100% money-back guaranteed superfood product support for my weight loss, athletic and lifestyle programs. 

What isn’t changing?
My commitment to mentoring each and every one of my clients with personal, positive, caring attention to your goals and your challenges. Because that is I do. 

Why now?
This is working for me and for my family. And I wouldn’t be doing my job if i didn’t share it. Have you seen the news? Glyphosate??? Well, that’s a whole other post. 

I would love to tell you more. 

Comment, message me, call me, send a carrier pigeon. Ask me anything! My passion is inspiring small changes that make each of us more vibrant and healthy so we can keep on doing the work the world needs us to do. I am beyond thrilled to add this to the tools we have to do just that

Want to hear more? Shoot me an email: erika@tayloredfitnessonline.com

Sunday, June 3, 2018

How to get a Bikini Body in Two Simple Steps

All of a sudden, out of nowhere, we’ve reached that point of the year where we start to fret about buying a swimsuit. It’s just dawned on us that the body we've been wrapping in sweats and sweaters all winter will soon be on display on a beach somewhere or at the neighborhood pool

Guess what; It’s not a coincidence we are feeling this way.

That sound you hear? It’s the avalanche of “summer is coming” content flooding the airwaves, internet searches, magazines, tv shows, store shelves and every other nook of the advertising world.

You know the type of stuff I’m talking about. It’s the “how to get your body beach ready in time for summer” articles. The dozens of beauty brands pedaling cellulite-busting and fat-melting creams and potions. Friends posting status updates about their “bikini body” weight loss progress accompanied by the obligatory before and after shots.

It's a thing. And it's not new.

Bo Derek in 1979's 10. Pamela Anderson in 1992's Baywatch. Kate Upton in 2014's The Other Woman. Each time you see a woman jogging on a beach, there are two consistent realities: She is always in slow motion, and she is invariably slim. The former is hilarious, while the latter is more harmful. Presenting any body as the only desirable type of body may sell, and it may also be pretty darn dangerous.

The Rise of the Bikini Body

The concept of the bikini body is simple: In order to wear a bikini, and have it be deemed socially acceptable, you should have a specific type of figure. This includes but is not limited to: a thin waist, round butt, full-but-not-too-large breasts, and long legs. There should be no cellulite, no body hair, no stretch marks, no blemishes. In short, you should have the body of a heavily Photoshopped celebrity that fits the profoundly narrow definition of beauty in Western society.

According to The Cut, the term "bikini body" was initially popularized as a result of a weight loss chain's ad campaign in 1961. The name of the company was Slenderella. "Summer's wonderful fun is for those who look young," one ad read. "High firm bust — hand span waist — trim, firm hips — slender graceful legs — a Bikini body!" The message was loud and clear: Want to look good in a bathing suit? You have to look like this. And you know those weird videos of women in the '50s and '60s lying on vibrating tables that supposedly "shook off" fat? That was what Slenderella specialized in. While it wasn't exactly an effective workout, it did usher in a phrase that would be used to aggressively shame women's bodies for years to come.

This theme has continued throughout the last six decades, both in advertising and in entertainment. Most of the most iconic scenes in films featuring women in swimsuits reflect this — just look at literally any Bond girl ever. Onscreen and off, the term "bikini body" has become synonymous with tall and lean. A quick Google search of the term shows exactly what it's associated with: Again, the images almost exclusively depict thin, able-bodied white women in their twenties and thirties with medium-sized breasts, narrow waists, zero cellulite, hairless skin and toned stomachs. The framework for having your body considered bikini-worthy is clearly narrow.

And no matter what your weight is, there's always a label somebody wants to slap on it: pear-shaped, skinny, hourglass, top-heavy, fat, whatever. You're "supposed" to dress according to your body shape, as though humans neatly, naturally fit into these categories. 

How This Affects Us

At least 20 million women and 10 million men suffer from a "clinically significant eating disorder" during their lives. The median age of eating disorder onset is approximately 12 to 13 years old. Forty-two percent of girls in first, second and third grade say they want to be thinner. The fact that many folks, particularly young women and girls, have negative feelings toward their bodies is nothing new.

Eating disorders are not always the direct result of poor body image — many folks cope with trauma by controlling their food intake, for example, while others develop eating issues in response to familial relationships, such as a parent who's constantly nagging their child to lose weight or to eat less. It is not so simple as seeing a tabloid making fun of, say, Kelly Clarkson for gaining weight — and poof! Suddenly you've got an eating disorder. Still, the messages telling you over and over and over that your body is inadequate, unsightly, disconcerting and unacceptable are grating — and borderline impossible to avoid. 

The concept of the swimsuit body is nothing more than a societal myth constructed to tear away at self-esteem. In a culture that profits from our insecurities, the bikini body traps consumers into believing they must change something about themselves in order to be deemed socially acceptable. Although striving to be healthy isn’t necessarily a bad thing, health is not the end goal in the “bikini body challenge.” Our obsession with looking “beach ready” just shows how normalized objectification and self-hatred is: we merely accept this fear of looking fat on the beach as something completely normal. 

While this is typically associated with women, men struggle with this same issue: all genders are impacted by low self-esteem when it comes to body image (particularly relating to swimsuits). In a recent poll on Twitter, 63% of respondents said they had avoided going somewhere in public due to self-consciousness regarding their body in a swimsuit (the demographics of this poll were primarily college and high school students).

Rejecting the Ideal

In the past few years, people — particularly women — have been pushing back against this impossible-to-meet standard. Models, bloggers and prominent celebrities like Mindy Kaling, Amy Schumer, Jennifer Lawrence and Mo'Nique have outspokenly rejected the traditional notion that their bodies need to match one specific appearance, lest they resign themselves to a life of floor-length dresses and knee-length swimsuits. Model Tess Holiday, for example, runs the popular Eff Your Beauty Standards page, posting photos of gorgeous folks of all sizes rocking crop tops, bikinis, short skirts and more. You name it, they've worn it, and worn it beautifully. Another loud and proud promoter of body positivity is YouTube star Meghan Tonjes, whose #BootyRevolution campaign invites people to share their figures as she celebrates her own — and refuses to let anyone make her feel like her body is somehow not acceptable or worthy of being seen.

So how can we fix it? We can start by abandoning the idea of the “swimsuit body.” We, as a society, must be more accepting and loving of not only others, but ourselves as well. We must look for happiness and satisfaction within ourselves as opposed to attempting to find happiness by emulating the girl on the cover of Sports Illustrated (yes, she is beautiful, but so are you and everyone else, in a unique and radiant way). 

Remember, there are only two steps to getting the perfect swimsuit body: buy an awesome swimsuit and put it on YOUR body, just as it is.